


Army-Shaped Wholesome Goodness

by IHScribe



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: And Tony Is His Usual Self, In Which Sherlock is Really Mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 01:23:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1709846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IHScribe/pseuds/IHScribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At an army demonstration John dragged Sherlock too, John meets up with an old friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Army-Shaped Wholesome Goodness

**Author's Note:**

> Fandoms: Iron Man, Sherlock
> 
> Characters: Sherlock Holmes, Tony Stark, John Watson, Mycroft Holmes
> 
> Prompt: Had the idea that a meeting between Tony and Sherlock would be interesting/explosive. Then I got to thinking about why...maybe Tony knows John from an army demonstration, bumps into him somewhere and starts chatting, Sherlock gets jealous. ego flare. And...Mycroft swoops in and steals the "prize".
> 
> Prompt Made By: picabone99
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the following series(es) or any character(s) that follow, and unless I. H. Scribe is listed after Prompt Made By chances are I don't own the idea for this story either.

"Watson!" John heard before an arm swung around his shoulders. "Save me from these women and I will pay you." John smirked at the man, as he swung his own arm around the other man's shoulders.

"Sure thing Stark." Sherlock frowned, glancing between the two. "Sherlock, I'll tell your brother to his face that he's an asshole, so you can see the expression on his face," John offered. Sherlock's eyes narrowed, and he turned to face the three women.

"You tried to make yourself more appealing by wearing lipstick to match your dress, unfortunately you picked one that was three-too-many shades  _off_  and it clashes horribly, making you look like a prostitute instead  _or_  it would  _if_  you had any cleavage to speak off whatsoever."

Woman #1 ran off crying, while the other two glared at Sherlock.

"You attempted to pick a flowery perfume to accentuate your floral print dress and keep us from noticing that it came from a department store. Unfortunately, you shopped for said perfume while your nose was healing from plastic surgery and the salesperson was one you had insulted before so they sold you one that smells like manure, much like what's floating around between your ears."

Woman #2 ran off crying, and the final woman steeled herself as Sherlock's gaze turned to her.

"Those two only keep you around for your money because you're so stupid it's entirely too easy to get you to buy things for them. Unfortunately for them, your mother has recently cut off your monthly stipend, because you keep wearing those same heels and using the same purse. Your friends are nearly as stupid as you are because they haven't noticed, but you remain the stupidest of the lot solely because you think cheap, drug store brand makeup can pass for the real thing."

Woman #3 ran off crying and Sherlock turned back to Tony and John.

"Can I keep him?" Tony asked.

"No," John said. After a moment's pause, he added, "You've got Pepper."

" _Pepper_  never did  _that_."

"Not while you were around."

* * *

"Are you and John having sex?" Tony asked, as soon as John left to find the three of them some sort of food.

"What? No!"

"Really? Cause your acting like a jealous lover."

"Neither of us are gay."

"Neither am I, but that wouldn't stop me from sleeping with John if he offered," Tony said. Seeing Sherlock's glare, he grinned. "Wow, you really are jealous. Relax. Johnny-boy is all yours. If I wanted army-shaped wholesome goodness, I'd go proposition Rogers. Actually, I may do that anyway. The look on his face would be hilarious."

John returned, arms laden with food, with Mycroft right behind him.

"What are  _you_  doing here?" Sherlock exclaimed.

"Someone has to keep you and Mr. Stark from blowing up half of London," Mycroft said.

"Does that mean blowing up the other half is okay?" Tony asked.

"No," John and Mycroft said together.

"By the way, Mycroft?" John said. "You're an asshole."

The perturbed expression on Mycroft's face made Sherlock's day.

**Author's Note:**

> I am accepting prompts on Fanfiction.net and Livejournal. For more information on prompts, click [here for FF.net](http://www.fanfiction.net/u/5241068/) and go to the Accepting Prompts Section, or click [here for livejournal](http://ihscribe.livejournal.com/557.html) and see the Accepting Prompts post.


End file.
